


Oh, Sweet Jealousy

by m4dh4tteywrites, WillGrammer



Series: Panicking Criminals [2]
Category: Cold Comes the Night (2013), The House is Burning (2006)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bar Fight, Bisexual Male Character, Blackouts, Childhood Trauma, Denial, Don't be like Lloyd, Dreams and Nightmares, Drunk Phil, Dumbass Phil, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gay Male Character, Graphic Descriptions of Rape, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Lloyd is a bad person, Lloyd is a rapist, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Breakdown, Murder, Nicknames, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Pissed Lloyd, Pissed Phil, Protective Lloyd, Sadism, Stress, They both want each other but too scared to fuck it up, but so is Phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-02 22:03:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10953603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m4dh4tteywrites/pseuds/m4dh4tteywrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillGrammer/pseuds/WillGrammer
Summary: Sets a few days after the first chapter. Lloyd and Phil are having a hard time dealing with the kiss, and they are distracting themselves from it in their own unique ways.





	Oh, Sweet Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Panic attacks, blackouts, paranoia, anxiety, graphic descriptions of rape (you may skip that part there are warnings telling when it begins and when it ends), and brief mentions of traumatic childhood.

A few days have died down slower than ever since the escape; The afternoon drifted into sleep as the moon took over the night with a few stars twinkling across the blackness of the sky. Phil just came back from a bit of shopping with the money he stole; a couple of beers, a packet of cigarettes, bags of chips and some Chinese takeout. He fiddled with his keys, unlocking the door before entering his wreck of an apartment. Things he has stolen from his past thievery scattered across the floor; a few diamonds, expensive rings to pawn later if he had the energy. There was also a couple of empty pizza boxes, old glass bottles, drugs resting in their plastic packets with a couple of syringes on the coffee table, even some blood stained laundry he had to wash.

 

_You're gonna have to clean up this dump one day before I kick your ass to do it, princess_!, Lloyd's voice echoed in his head as if he were standing there, nagging at him. His lips twitched a smile in thought, drew out a heavy sigh before placing the plastic bags onto his table, then started grabbing a few things off the carpet floor. An hour passed, he rubbed the sweat off his forehead with the other hand on his hip. His eyes scanned at the now more polished living room; the garbage was thrown, clothes in the washing machine and prized belongings organized in a shelf.

 

He grabbed for his Chinese takeout, unwrapping the chopsticks before he approached the couch to flop onto the soft cushion. Phil’s eyes closed in relaxation before fluttering them open to take a bite of his food with a satisfied groan. Whilst he eat, his mind got lost into flashbacks of the last time he saw Lloyd; how the smaller man pointed a gun at his best friend, the way they stared daggers at one another. _The way he kissed me and told me to be safe_. His pupils dilated in thought, the criminal’s cheeks flushed a shade of rosy red which he attempted to rub away, failing miserably. The thought teased him to no end, how the kiss could've lasted. The passion. The need. The hunger for it. That maybe it could be more.

 

Phil placed the chicken fried rice to his side before his back bent forward, slendered hands buried into his face with a frustrated whine, “fuck fuck fuck dude, why did you do that to meeeee? Ugh!” _I should talk to him_ , his mind suggested. Because the last thing he ever wanted was losing his friend forever over an intimate relationship. The trouble he could get Lloyd into due to Phil's fucked up life ached his heart, shaking his head. He jammed a hand in his right pocket, his thumb tapping at the screen,

 

_[to Shitbag]: Yo bitch, my man, I gotta repay for the cab escape. Burgers at our favorite place at brunch hour. My treat. See ya!_

 

Phil’s leg shaking as he waited for Lloyd's response almost anxiously before his heart pounded a beat at the sound of the notification, he chuckled lowly at the answer before tossing his phone onto the coffee table, finishing up his takeout before dropping the empty carton into the bin. The skinny blond grabbed for the drinks to rest in the fridge, walking back over to the table tiredly to snatched the cigarette packet into his hand along with his phone. Phil lazily walked upstairs to his bedroom, closing the door with his foot, kicking his shoes off, scrambling out of his tank top and jeans leaving only his boxers, then dropped to the bed lying on his back.

 

His stare almost lifeless at the ceiling, retrieving a lighter from his pocket. Phil lit up his first cigarette before drawing in a huge inhale, his chest swelling as the intoxicating smoke filled his lungs before he exhaled in pure bliss, his observing eyes gazed as the smoke danced in the air slowly. He snickered almost hysterically, slowly drifting to slumber after three more cigarettes.

 

He threw the packet onto the nightstand, phone under pillow, Phil rolling onto his stomach with a hum, eyelids drooped whilst he let the breeze from the window send cooling chills to his flushed skin. The first thought he had in his sleep was Lloyd's glare at Phil, the way the taller man nags at him, rolls his eyes then a smile at the end. It brought a grin to the prisoner’s face, “Dork… “ he whispered in his comforting sleep, the most he had in years since the guy met his best friend.

 

It seemed like time skipped ever since he kicked Phil out of his cab, and before he noticed a few days passed by. Dull working and giving rides to people across town, he didn't even bother actually listening to their talks and maybe try to figure out their connection to other people like he did mostly, he loved knowing all kinds of things for future advantage, but ever since he kissed Phil his mind went blank about anything else he used to do before that. It was like the small blond took over his mind and better judgement; he wasn't just some other person Lloyd kissed, he was his _best friend_ , and usually when he kissed somebody it meant nothing, maybe just that he wanted to fuck them, but all lust was blocked from his thoughts for the few seconds their kiss lasted. It wasn't _that_ kind of a kiss.

 

Phil was different; Lloyd actually cared about him, which was nothing he could say about the people he rapes when he has the urge to. The thought of doing something so _wrong_ to Phil out of all people made him sick and caused his blood to boil through his veins as his heartbeat quickened through his chest and he tightened his hands over the steering wheel, his eyes full with rage and psychotic thoughts on what he’s do if someone would dare to lay a hand over the junkie, _his_ junkie.

 

The possessive thoughts soon disappeared as Lloyd realized what he was thinking and let out a strained laugh as his heartbeat kept raising and he felt weak all the sudden. _I wonder why!_ He heard Phil's voice bugging his mind and stroking his ego, growling in response as he shook his head and took a breath, driving back to the station to park his cab there before his short break started. _You didn't eat anything since yesterday's lunch, are you sure you should be driving right now?_ He heard him again, but this time there was not any sarcastic tone mixed with his words, just worry, which made a shiver go down the blond's spine as he could imagine how his friend would react to the fact he didn't had anything to eat for nearly 24 hours; probably a lot of yelling and curses, death threats...ha.

 

He clenched his jaw after parking his cab and getting out of it, tightening his coat around himself and burying his hands in his pockets before he closed his eyes shut and leaned back against a near building's wall, sniffing as his cheeks burned red to the imaginary feeling of the man's lips again, letting out a heavy breath as a wave of heat attacked him and filled his shivering body with a cloud of warmth and all he could think about was the comfort of his best friend in his protective hold. _What a fairy tail, awww! Didn't picture you to be such a Prince charming, Y'know?_ Phil's voice echoed through his ears once more, mocking him again and kicking all the air from his lungs, leaving him breathless to the fact his thoughts about the junkie were not healthy at all.

 

The kiss was never meant to happen, he never should have called his name there and then, he never should have stopped him, never should have fucking kiss him in that cursed moment. He ruined everything! Their friendship was going to sink slowly into despair as he crossed the line when making them  something more in his head, the way he craved the man was not smart. Mostly because the last thing he wanted was them to be more than best friends, although at the same time it was everything he hoped for, but the cruel fact that if Phil were to be his companion he would be mixed in his fucked up life was not an option; not when Lloyd was raping people on left and right wherever he felt like it.

 

He won't ever be loyal to Phil or be able to keep him safe from the police, as well as be enough of a human being to get over his abandonment issues and phobia from the dark, which he knew would make Phil pity him and leave while laughing out loud, or staying around just because he felt bad of had nothing better to do, and that hurt. But what hurt the most was that his fucked up brain and body had desires and decisions of their own in a fragile time like this, and before he realized he was already behind the steering wheel, driving to his and Phil's usual meeting place at brunch hour.

 

“What--” Lloyd panicked when he couldn't feel his phone in the back pocket of his jeans, looking around the car before he realized his phone was on it's usual  holder against the gloves’ drawer, letting out a bitter chuckle before he blinked and focused over the screen, which showed his texting history with Phil today. _When did he text me? And when did I reply?_ His throat felt dry as he read the words, analyzing them as his heartbeat strangely slowed down at the thought of Phil actually not minding the kiss and that exerting might be back to normal, but deep inside he knew it wasn't the case.

 

_[from Dipshit]: Yo bitch, my man, I gotta repay for the cab escape. Burgers at our favorite place at brunch hour. My treat. See ya!_

 

_[me]: Sounds good, bro. I drove for like 3 hours around town for ya. Glad to see your 'royal’ princess ass knows how to give back. See you there._

 

There was no time to wonder how did his brain and body pulled that off while he was still in a daze from his panic attack, which caused the blackout, but he didn't even remember hearing the damn notification sound! Was his phone on vibrate? Not that he had time to check because apparently he just parked his car and was already out of it with the phone in his hand, feeling the keys in his coat’s pocket before he sighed and made his way inside, his head aching as he sat in an empty booth, leaning his head against the window, then opening his eyes to find a menu placed near his hand and a cute waitress smiling at him sweetly.

 

“Could I get you anything, sir?” she was new. He and Phil come here every few days, she was defiantly new. Didn't recognize him. “water,” he shivered to the sound of his own voice. _Nice one! Freak her out, Lloyd-y boy!_ Phil's voice again bugged him before he cleared his throat at her worried expression. “Just water,” he smiled weakly before watching her leave, smiling sadistically to himself as he thought of anything he could do to her, and soon the thoughts about his best friend faded away.

 

“Fuck, running late!” was the moment Phil freaked out when he looked at his phone; the time and the text message Lloyd sent. It was 15 minutes til noon of the day would kick in. He scrambled himself off with the blanket tangled around his body which caused him to roll off onto the floor by accident. He yelped in pain with a frustrating growl before getting up onto his feet, unwinding the fabric off him, could care less about making the bed. The criminal bent over to shove his slender legs into his pair of jeans hurriedly. _Damn it man, you're always running late, you're glad I put up with it princess_.

 

Phil rolled his eyes in thought with a sarcastic chuckle, taking his favorite tank top off the floor wriggling himself in, then neatly bringing the edge of the shirt down to his waist. He tugged at the fabric and sniffed with a casual shrug, still good enough. _You really need to do laundry more often_ . Lloyd scoffed with that nagging tone which Phil hated and loved. Words planning in his mind for what he wanted to say to his best friend. _What if I hurt him? What if I make things more distant if I said no?_

 

The criminal shook his head in anger at his damned thoughts. There was no need to get paranoid, at least not now. He was lucky enough to hide most of his impulsive thoughts from Lloyd, especially because the man is an expert at body language. Phil would usually shrug off the pain he feels in his heart but at times Lloyd knows exactly how much it's killing him. It's a miracle his best friend has not seen the criminal’s unpredictable outbursts. At least not yet.

 

His shoes were on and laced, snatching for his keys, wallet, his pack of cigarettes and phone before unlocking the apartment door behind him. Phil raised a hand into the road for a cab, but none came to stop which forced a howl out of him, flipping the finger to the last cab he called, “Oh yeah, be a champ and drive off will ya? Choke on a fucking dick!” the junkie stared at strangers who cowered in fear, rolled his eyes before his legs started running.

 

He was not in the best shape, and that's what Lloyd complained the most. The thought of exercise was an ongoing annoyance, and being raised to work 24/7 back in his childhood was a bloodcurdling nightmare. The criminal clenched his teeth, breathing almost uneasily and not because of how long he was running for. _Just a block away and I should be there._ Phil scrambled for his phone in his back pocket to give a quick text;

 

_[From Shitbag]:_ _Sounds good, bro. I drove for like 3 hours around town for ya. Glad to see your 'royal’ princess ass knows how to give back. See you there._

 

_[me]: Hey, I can be generous!.. At times, only to you maybe. I'm running late almost there._

 

He laughed softly with the thought of Lloyd scaring the crawling anxiety off his nerves. After minutes have died down, the skinny blonde's eyes widened with an exaggerated sigh of relief when the fast food chain took to view. His legs lunged into a faster adrenaline before shoving the glass door wide open then fell forward to sudden lack of balance and exhaustion. He shot to his feet, wheezes and a nervous cackle spilled from his lips at the odd stares, “Eeyyy, good day huh?” He waved before glancing over to his best friend who almost laughed too hard.

 

Phil glared at him playfully then walked over to take a seat at the table with a menu placed in front of him thanks to the waitress whom Lloyd seemed to exchange glances with the criminal noticed. It strangely brought this twist in his gut but he shook the thought away before he grinned widely at the taller man, “Wow, you look like shit as usual. Best shit though. I see you got your eyes on a little someone. How you've been?” his eyes shifted through the menu whilst listening to Lloyd's voice.

 

Waiting for Phil has turned into more of a little game between himself and the cute waitress after she brought him the water he asked for earlier, by now the glass was empty yet his throat remained dry and his stomach grumbled as hunger corrupted his mind, but from a different kind. He studied her brief body language, the way she moved and his lips stretched into a smirk as he let out a shaky breath to the way her long, long black hair simply flew with every quick step she made around the tables and other booths, sweat was tingling her pale yet pretty tan looking skin, but Lloyd was after her _thighs_.

 

Oh, if there was anything he hated the most was those thin thighs with no near meat to grab on, so he was satisfied to see that the girl had some meat in her’s. He honestly didn't understand the need to be all thin; there was no problem with thickness in his case, and more people should realize it. The waitress seemed confident according to her body language, again, and Lloyd was sick of it, Mostly because it turned him on and all he could think about was slamming her down and having his way with her, possibly shoving his socks down her throat to quiet her down-- _really? After kissing me?_

 

Phil's voice caught the taller blond off guard and he quickly gazed away from the girl, feeling his cheeks redden up with embarrassment as bitterness filled him, “it's not like it meant anything,” he whispered under his breath. _So you don't want my meaty tights?_ “I...what...it's not like _that!_ ” he closed his eyes and covered his flushed face, feeling a weak twitch in his pants before he grabbed himself under the table hard enough to pop one of his balls, sighing in pain as he thanked God he wasn't feeling masochistic today.

 

After calming himself down from his wasted excitement, he took a big breath and wiped some sweat off his brows with his fingers as he took a few short breaths and rubbed each knuckle over his hands, expecting to hear his best friend in his mind again and feeling a relieve when he didn't, leaning back in the booth, sighing and relaxing as he stopped thinking about the waitress’ body, or at least, tried to stop thinking about it, all the while avoiding thinking about Phil, which was hard because he was defiantly quite the showman with this amazing entrance that pulled a loud laugh out of his throat, seeing just how casually he waved it off and sat in front of him.

 

He remembered feeling his phone vibrating over the table a few minutes ago both he didn't bother checking it, it was probably Phil letting him know he was late, but he didn't mind the wait, and what good would he do it he’d read the message with the man being already here? He watched the way sweat made it's way down his exposed creamed skin, almost taking his breath away as he thought about how he always told him he should get in shape, but meant to opposite, because really, if Phil were to develop a more gorgeous body than the one he had right now, there would be other guys all around him, and the thought of that was enough to make Lloyd's right eye to twitch in annoyance.

 

_Pretty hypocritical, right Lloyd-y boy?_ He brushed off the bugging voice in his head, although he completely agreed and was very aware to his high will to keep Phil to himself, but not only from greed and possession towards the small angry goofball, but from a protective tactic. _They wouldn't understand us once we show our true colors,_ he thought sadly inside of his heart before smirking and raising a brow playfully at the compliment, chuckling low from his throat before he shook his head weakly. “Thank you! Nice to see your regular outfit. I was almost worried you might wanted to change your tank top! Good thing you didn't, the world would have ended.” he replied with a cheeky grin before noticing the waitress handing his friend a menu and created an short eye contact with her before it broke and she wandered away.

 

He could briefly notice how on edge Phil was according to that stare between them and he hated himself for desiring the man to grab his attention- No, _demand_ for it, although he knew damn well that if they were ever to be more than friends he was going to kill Phil from the inside. Ruin everything he was and leave nothing but a drained body and mind, and he didn't want that. Phil didn't _deserve_ that. The man was many things but he was genuinely good deep down, as for Lloyd...Lloyd, who was fantasizing about raping the woman near them, Lloyd, who couldn't control himself…he didn't deserve Phil as more than a friend. And he knew that, he knew that to the point he felt his skin crawling whenever he thought about the way he kissed the man, but he couldn't stop it.

 

The only way for it to stop was for it to happen again and again for the rest of their fucked up life but he doubted that would happen. “I'm good, didn't eat since yesterday though,” Lloyd shrugged and looked away from Phil, getting himself prepared for an outburst. What was the point in hiding it anyways? He was going to eat like an animal, so it was best to tell Phil instead of him finding it out later on. _I care about you, shitbag_ , he heard his friend's voice in his head, and for some reason, his heart ached, and the need to cry like an overreacting teenager girl burned through him.

 

“Excuse me? Me, changing this shirt?” Phil threw his head back with a little cackle, a childlike grin followed after, “Oh, it would be nice to see the fucked up world burn to shame but you better be right next to me to watch everything unravel. The universe would explode if you were gone!” he bit his lower lip in thought, _Wow missed me that much?,_ Lloyd in his mind teased. His cheeks started to burn hot red, hopefully the taller blonde wouldn't notice, glanced at the fork and wished Phil could just stab his own brain repeatedly.

 

The junkie noticed the stares every now and then even as he looked at the menu. Lloyd's sick addiction to non con never really bothered Phil; well until the eye contact was getting irritating. He forced his smile but not too much otherwise it would be exaggerated. _Mmm, yeah, she's pretty, planning to have my way with her hopefully soon._ _Aw, not happy about that, princess?_ Phil did everything he could to ignore Lloyd's voice; the thought of it made his heart sting, for some reason.

 

There was also that twist in his gut again, which made a tint of epiphany. _I'm not jealous am I?_  The smaller blonde glanced over to the waitress shortly before gazing back down at the menu again. _Pfft, she's not even that attractive. Though she did have nice thighs._ Lloyd would definitely agree for sure, and that made the uneasy sensation in his stomach worse. Suddenly being in his own bony figure killed him. _Maybe if I work out from now on he'd fucking stare at me instead..,_ The criminal thought bitterly with a suck at his cheek _._

 

_No, no it can't happen, no matter what. I can't lose him_ . _I'd lose my shit_ , and that's not a pretty sight to see He'd hate to watch the fear in Lloyd's eyes from his outbursts. Phil loved the man too much, and only wants what’s best for him. And Jacobs knows he's far from the best, despite all the compliments Lloyd had praised him once in awhile. The junkie was trouble they both knew, but that really never stopped his best friend from seeing him. _Does he love me that much? Pfft, no, it's not possible_.

 

Phil's thin fingers tapped against the wooden table, halted them as he left his attention from the menu to Lloyd with that pinch of anger in his eyes but he was more concerned knowing his best friend was back to that habit yet again. The two remembered the fights they had when it came to Lloyd’s lack of meals or Phil’s unorganized sloppy ass. The shorter blonde would burst. Not unpredictably but he knew how much it pinched Lloyd's brain and decided to go a little easier on him today, “well, can't say I'm surprised dude. I'm supposing you didn't sleep that well either?” he gestured an index finger to circle around at the bags in Quincy’s lower eyelids.

 

Impulsively, the junkie dropped a hand to the other’s as his stare became more fixated and serious, which was highly unexpected but he was too focused on the man, “Y’know I'm not gonna always be around, Lloyd, and I would the love the thought of you eating regularly, at least trying. And getting some sleep too; you wouldn’t want getting your passengers into danger, and suddenly you know the car implodes into pieces!“ Jacobs exaggerated an enormous explosion with his slender hands, with a playful laugh that echoed a tint of madness, his skin flushed on his cheeks and shoulders which he absolutely despises.

 

“Though, that sounds fucking rad. In all seriousness, just eat man. Since I'm treating anyways, you can have as much as you want.” his lips curled into a rare, genuine grin before looking back at the menu, before he clicked his fingers on his left hand for the waiter to come over, his smile turned sarcastic once he turned his attention to her. _Oh hey little bitch you think you're so fucking pretty. Well, not for long when my best friend fucks the life out of you_ , he spoke calmly, “Aaayy, so my best friend-in the whole damn universe by the way- and I would looove to have our usual. Two burgers, cheese burger for me, and grilled chicken for him. Two large baskets of onion rings and fries, and of course hmmmmm.. I suppose iced milk tea this time, and iced coffee black.”

 

He watched the waiter take both their menus whilst Lloyd gazed at the women without her knowing. Phil rolled his eyes before the two blondes shared a gaze again with a smile, snickered at the sound of his best friend’s stomach, “you should listen to your tummy more often.” their drinks arrived in no knick of time, the junkie rubbed his hands together as he took the straw out of his milk tea and dropped onto the table, “So, what's the plan today besides driving of course and bank robbery? We find a bar? Have a little booze, get a little insaaanne?” Phil giggled before chugging at his drink which Lloyd usually tells him not to because of the hyperactivity the junkie will bring upon himself but the small blond could care less.

 

The thought of himself crashing his car down actually seemed like a good idea at the moment, but of course he couldn't say that to Phil. No, though it could be a complement of the sort, saying he'd rather be dying than ruining their friendship, although he knew well that it will not be appreciated by the shorter man, and deep inside he regretted even thinking about that situation. His body was weak but his mind fed from his fears, and the thought of closing his eyes and seeing permanent darkness burned his lungs and twisted his stomach into a sick feeling, but not enough to cause him a panic attack.

 

As far as he knew, the blackouts were over awhile before Phil arrived, so that was good, but he still at least tried to prepare to a situation where his mind would take over and he won't have any memory of it, which sucked, because the only person who didn't know 1st a time like this was himself because of his fucked up mind desperately trying to save him from certain situations which he tried to avoid.

 

It was for the best, he knew that, his psyche was protecting him from dealing with what seemed as dangerous and he should be thankful, and not being aware to everything he did when it hit was sort of a blessing. Or at least, he chose to believe that way. The way Phil clinged to him was someway satisfying although he knew the man well enough to realize he should take his behavior seriously. Expecting everything to go back to normal and forget about the kiss was childish and not Lloyd's favorite choice out of what laid on the table. Yet denial was smart enough, not to deal with his emotions for his best friend and yet deal with himself all alone as he did all his life. He knew the blond could relate of course,  in his own way, they both had messed up _something_.

 

A few missing wires in their brain, and some cells that died faster than others, due to whatever they been through in their past. It left them scarred and perhaps unable to love others as much as they loved life itself, since they made it out alive. Maybe some of their sanity didn't, but a part of them did, all the while who they used to be didn't make it to the other side. It was too much weight that they couldn't carry, so they let it go. Could people actually choose to blame them for that? Apparently, but mostly people chose to point a finger on who drove the most attention, and he got that. The need to focus on somebody else rather than yourself, and he didn't mind being that for those weak motherfuckers, but it drained him.

 

_You’d slaughter millions to be in my arms right now,_ he could hear Phil in his head again, his ears aching as their drinks arrived and he held the mug of coffee in his hands, feeling the cold grounding him as the sound of Phil drinking loudly and causing himself for a brain freeze made him chuckle weakly as his eyes felt heavy, but he couldn't allow himself to stay away from food right now, he’d rather be eating than passing out, although he was tired and his mind was mostly a blur at the moment. He drank down the coffee in a slow pace, a sort groan escaping his throat as the way Phil smiled so rarely made everything around them turn white and all he could see were the lines of his beautiful face so perfectly stretched as the blush over his exposed skin only made him look more precious.

 

He saved that sight into his messed up brain before putting the mug down and raising a brow to the mention of alcohol from him, his eye twitching to the thought of himself getting drunk enough to do something stupid, and in ‘stupid’ he meant confronting Phil about his undying love, which brought a nervous wave of laughter to roll out of his tongue as he shook his head.

 

“Maybe tomorrow, dude. I have plans for later.” he clicked his tongue and licked his lips, grinning psychotically over his little waitress again, taking a short breath before he focused on his best friend again, feeling his heart tightening through his chest for some reason. “I'm sorry, Phil.” he mumbled and rubbed the edge of his nose, trying to soften the harsh reality of himself trying to distract his mind from clinging over his best friend with thoughts of rape and sadism towards the girl, he knew that she was nothing but a distraction, her thighs weren't as creamy as he thought at first, his mind was playing him. Causing him to see only what he wished to be true, so when he gazed into the junkie’s eyes and saw anger there, it hurt just as much as it hurt not to pull him over and smother him with another kiss and a tight embrace. But he couldn't do that. And it killed him.

 

“Ah shit, my brain!” Phil clamped his thin fingers over his head, tugging at the golden locks whilst his shoes tapped at the floor almost uncontrollably as the adrenaline of the milk tea was pumping through every vein and muscle, “Crap, I'm gonna get really fucked up more than usual today.” the junkie cackled hysterically whilst the waiter brought in their food, doing a little happy clap before taking a few onion rings in his hands and shoving them in his mouth. He groaned in satisfaction, chewing and shifted his gaze back to his best friend who stared at the food questionably. It made the shorter blonde itch with a slight irritation as Lloyd picked at the food oh so agonizingly slow. At least he's drinking the coffee. _I can finish most of the food anyways_.

 

But God knows how much Phil hates how extremely stubborn Lloyd is, and he despised himself even more that most of time it has to lead to death threats sometimes. The criminal could tone it down and give his buddy some slack however it couldn't be helped, he worried about Lloyd too much. So much more than getting himself in jail which his best friend disapproves of highly. _Man, it would be nice to have my strong broad arms protectively wrapped around you, just to keep you safe. You'd love that wouldn't you princess? To be watched over by a Knight in Shining Armor?_ The voice whispered into his ear which caused warm chills to his spine and a tormenting squeeze at his heart.

 

As if that wasn't enough, the fact Lloyd decided to postpone their hangout because of another ‘hot’ chick, the waitress apparently. His lungs felt twists and wrapped in spiked chains that made the organs bleed inside of him, letting the pain wash over him whilst one of Phil’s eye twitched. There were two types of anger the two of them knew about the junkie; One, he'd unleashed his rage immediately. Two, he'd be dead silent, sarcastic all the way until he'd blow off like a volcanic eruption. And the second option scared Phil the most, but he couldn't help it, there was no way he was going to start yelling at the taller blonde, and confessed how crazy the kiss drove him, wishing it would last longer or maybe become something more.

 

But no, he swallowed every thought like a disgusting pill, because that was the only thing the criminal was good at. He forced a smile, a short glance between the waiter and his friend who was already on the edge of insanity, “You know what? Don't apologize, man! I can go by myself anyways. Plus, I may be clinging onto your life waaay too much, and the last thing you'd wanna see is me puking on your favorite coat.” He scoffed in thought before taking a huge bite of his own burger, “Seriously, man, get yourself a little treat. Ya earned it!” _I hope you fucking make her bleed_ , his sadistic thought feeding his ego which creeped a little smile on his face until the idea of Lloyd giving all the attention to any sexy, confident, perfect figure that moves made Phil sick, almost losing his appetite out of envy.

 

He swallowed thickly before anxiously taking in another bite with a couple of fries in his other hand, “At least try to call or text me afterwards, alright buddy? Just so I know you're aaaaaall good. Now quit picking at the food and eat, at least eat some of the fries and rings then I'll help with the burger.” The junkie spilled a burp out of his mouth which drew another laugh out of Lloyd; it made Phil smile to see his best friend smile at least once in awhile. It’s too bad they only have a less than hours to spend, their hangout usually lasts for most of the day.

 

Their food arrived and this time Lloyd didn't stare at the waitress or created any eye contact with her, instead listening to the sounds of Phil enjoying his food after his brain freeze, he stared at food with a questionable look. He knew it was for him, God knew the junkie couldn't finish all of this by himself unless he had the desire to create a scene and puke all over the nice diner. The image of the disgusted, surprised people around them puking along as he listened to the burp the smaller man let out made him laugh, his stomach turned and he was no longer occupied with his inner thoughts about whenever he deserved this food after fucking things up.

 

_You enjoyed the kiss, Lloyd-y boy, admit it. You had allllllll the control in the world. You could've spent the night with me, God only knows you need a stable relationship. Wait, right. You're a misfit! But guess what? So am I._ His best friend's voice bugged him again as he picked up his chicken burger, the smell of the meat made some drool slide down his lip before he took a bite and chew it down hungrily, then another one before reaching out for an onion ring and a few fries, chewing them down before eyeing Phil with a smile, knowing very well that the man only held himself back from yelling at him to get his shit together just because he didn't want to, but it will happen sooner or later somewhere along the way. The best was to prepare for it, and hope he didn't screw up their friendship, although it was obvious how things won't ever be the same again.

 

Thoughts of blood and guts and everything in between that included cracking bones began to fill his mind like a shock of lightning. He shivered gently before staring down at his food, not wanting Phil to be the one to receive it, instead staring at his half eaten chicken burger before he took a small bite along with a few more fries and an onion ring, he could hear her screams echoing through his ears over and over, her soft voice turned muffled by the socks he’d push into her mouth once he will restrain her successfully, and her skin of course will not remain as clean as it was now. Tears would destroy her makeup long before she'll be touched all over, licked and marked and destroyed over and over again, _I bet you’d like to make me the most amazing mess you've ever had, am I wrong, Lloyd?_

 

Again, Phil's voice in his head caught him unguarded to the point it caused him to choke over a small fry, close his eyes shut and groan as he swallowed it in pain, again thanking God or whatever was up there for not feeling masochistic today, not giving Phil a reason to tease him anymore. The _real_ Phil. He felt a hand rubbing up and down his back, but he didn't mind away. He didn't even know who that was, and he didn't really care. Comfort was expensive to get, any kind, not that he craved for it, especially from strangers, but it wasn't like he didn't allow someone to help him put every now and then. He didn't believe in kindness, though, so a moment later he moved away and opened his eyes, expecting to find the shorter blond smirking at him, but he wasn't there. Lloyd's heart began beating ten times faster as his cheeks heated up and he turned his head to stare into his best friend's worried, yet angry, greenish blue eyes.

 

He let out a choked “thank you” before forcing over himself a chuckle. “S-So tender, aren't you, Jacobs?” _you know that if you were anyone else I would have filmed the situation and upload it on YouTube._ “A-And about you clinging to me… Are you for real? Being around you is always a pleasure,” _GAAAAY! No, wait-- BIIIIIII!!!!_ “Though you know how the dark freaks me out so I'm sorry I can't go out at night a lot! Haha...and my boss is a jerk, so I don't get a lot of sleep, but don't worry about that. I would have told you if you were a bother. Which you are definitely not. Okay?” _are you going to kiss me again, Lloyd-y boy? Because if you are, you should do it right about--_ “shut up,” he whispered, and his best friend's voice silenced in his head.

 

“Excuse me!” Phil cackled whilst strangers forced a smile at his enthusiasm, clamming his greedy lips with more onion rings with a grin of excitement, watching his boyfriend eat for once.The way Lloyd’s lips drooled of hunger as he continued eating caused the smaller blonde to gape in awe. _I bet you would love it if I eat you the fuck out to no end. Consuming you whole while you whine like the princess brat you are._ The voice crept at his ear, a twitch of his erection underneath his tight denim jeans which forced his eyes to widen in utter embarrassment; it was a miracle the taller man didn’t glanced up just yet, just a few seconds enough for Quincy to gaze back when the junkie forced another genuine smile before taking in more fries with his slender fingers whilst he crossed his legs as tight as possible.

 

Though, there was no hiding the painted redness across his cheeks and and shoulders that only grew at such lewd fantasies; to make matters worse for himself, some freckles dusted at the shade, then Lloyd would tease him about it almost uncontrollably. The junkie stared razors at him whilst he scratched his cheeks and shoulders with his quivering hands, “Oh yeah pfft, keep laughing, let’s see if I cut your tongue sooner or later. You know how sensitive my skin is to heat! And, freckles?? I don’t know what you’re talking about man, maybe you’re seeing things.”

 

The small blonde scoffed with a roll of his eyes, with a tilted smile at the end. His lips quickly fell flat into a frown when Lloyd choked momentarily on his food, his eyes sank in worry but before Phil could even reach out to help him, the waitress came over to pat him on the back. He shifted his glances between her and his best friend whom didn’t seem to notice the pat on his back. _Okay lady, you can stop touching him. He’s fine_. The criminal grunted under his breath before the waitress smiled sweetly at him, forcing him to grin back with disgust hidden in his features.

 

He observed as Lloyd fluttered his eyes open, looking away before they stared back at each other; Phil’s ocean blues spoke concern and a tint of anger which he knew his best friend could see right through, “Dude, you sure you’re okay?”   _Aw Princess, you know I would always pay attention to you_ . Quincy’s voice jabbed him in the heart and caused that same sickening turn in his stomach. The moment he felt like puking away his pain, the taller blonde finally talked with firstly a ‘thank you’, which made Phil’s lips curled into another of those rare honest smiles he only shared with his friend. The junkie cracked a soft giggle at the compliments; kindness from people was like an extinct species that was destroyed by the cruelty of the world. Of all people, Quincy was the only human being in his life who knew how to be nice to him, _even though I’m such a pain in the ass to handle_ , he thought with a wider grin.

 

Jacobs stared at his own thin arms, squeezing at the biceps and his ribs before eyeing at his best friend again, “Tender you say? I’m not...quite sure about that but heh, thank you...that means a lot.” He placed a french fry between his lips like a cigarette, his lips blowing fake smoke which forced another chuckle out of Lloyd; making him laugh was always Phil’s biggest accomplishment, ”Really?? Dude, you _do_ remember the times I puke on you because of my drunk ass, snore ridiculously loud, not to mention having to deal with my high when you were in a terrible mood long ago!”

 

They laughed at the fond memory, finally chunking the fry down before grasping last of the onion rings, “Either way, I’m lucky enough- well..actually it’s a miracle how you just came into my life when there were like...millions millions of paths you could’ve taken on that car.” His eyes softened at his own words; it surprised how they just spilled out on their own; but heck, it was the truth. The fact. Phil smacked his own forehead in utter shame with those eyes apologetic like a puppy, “God, of course! Argh shit, sorry about that..but you know I will protect you if ya need me..!” _God, you really love me that much don’t you, Phil?_ Lloyd chuckled in his mind. His face swiftly turned into more of anger over concern at the thought of his boss scolding him; the fact that he was the reason his best friend was always tired.

 

Jacobs rubbed furiously at his lips, hands dropped to the table which intertwined, his thumbs fiddling together as the anger inside him grew; _please. Please at least don’t yell at him. Not here. You’re going to humiliate him_. His lips curled inwards at the hurt voice in his head, swallowed the impulsive fury down to his stomach before gazing back Lloyd who had that anxious look on his face which consumed the small junkie’s soul. He nipped at one of his nails before running a hand through his dirty blond strands, then spoke in a serious tone,

 

“okay, I don’t need to be your _brother_ to know what you’re going through or for you to talk to me. You’re my best friend. _Period_ . No matter how much you hide those crappy emotions, and yes I’m sucky at reading people but I’m _not_ stupid. So instead bottling them up inside you-which is technically killing yourself-, You come to me whenever so I can spoil the fuck out of you, because I’m _always_ going to look out for you whether you like or not. I’m always gonna worry, especially because your boss is such a pretentious jackass.. _whom I could so easily kill if you let me_..”

 

He mumbled the last part low enough for none of the strangers to hear but it still brought anger to Lloyd’s eyes cause the small junkie could’ve been easily alarm everyone, “I…” He swallowed dry, “I care too much about you, okay..? y’know what forget it, you can handle things way better than me anyways.” _Wow, your words are on fire today aren’t they friend? But I care too much about you too y’know? You’d go to jail because of me_. “I don’t care…” Phil mumbled quietly through gritted teeth before his jaw slackened.

 

Silence felt dead momentarily which felt like eternity for the junkie who finally glanced at the clock, then shifted his angle about to grasp for his wallet in the back pocket, flipping it open with cash in hand, “It’s almost 2. Your afternoon shift; you should hurry up before your boss screams at you…” _Aw, you remembered!_ Lloyd giggled in his thoughts.

 

Lloyd always enjoyed thinking back about where he was then comparing to where he was standing now. The memories he had from his time with Phil were his most precious ones yet; The fact that he has someone to be around and talk to, although it wasn't exactly their… _thing,_ they knew each other pretty well. Body language and such, and they cared enough from one another enough to sacrifice their own freedom; the way he helped the junkie with his stolen cash and didn't really called the authorities to bust his ads in jail for robbery kinda proved that, but the defensive and possessive thoughts and ways of behavior they showed around one another gave away how much they meant to each other, mostly because they were the other's escape line.

 

. Someone they’d go to when need help, someone to die for, and the brutal truth was that they didn't have much to live for anyway, so meeting one another was nice when getting up in the morning. Not that either of them was much of a suicidal person, but it was just a point the driver enjoyed going over once in awhile. It was almost romantic, really. _Two people staying alive just to see each other...sounds just like us, Lloyd-y boy! We could be movie stars if there was an actual movie based on your pathetic-poetic thoughts, Y'know,”_ again the voice of his best friend nagged and bothered him to the point he wanted to hit his head against a brick wall, hoping that would shut him up, be unfortunately he wasn't so lucky.  

 

The mention of the drug use brought a chuckle out of his throat as he remembered just how the scene went; the vomit, the laughter and the little hair pulling they had like a bunch of teenage pussies, though it was hilarious, they promised not to get high every two days, especially because a drug addiction wasn't in their top priority. It wasn't comfortable most days, when they really needed it, but it worked in keeping them clean until next time.

 

Lloyd listened to Phil carefully, swallowing as he nodded his head in shame as he felt his insides shrinking in shame and fear of seeing the man so... disappointed. He was serious of course, and didn't even try to hide how he cared about him, no, he was _proud_ of it. Shooting it all over the place in every possible direction, letting everyone but mostly him know that he could always count on him to be there. _I don't deserve him,_ these four words were the background to the junkie's speech, over and over again before he heard him saying how he would spoil him and care for him, and honestly it made his stomach to turn, because a scumbag like himself didn't deserve it.

 

He kept drifting away from him during the last few days and all because of a damn kiss _he_ started. He fucked it up. The last thing he needed from Phil was softness, but he knew that the man was holding himself back from humiliating him in front of all the people around them at his current behavior, and for that he was thankful. The mention of his piece of shit boss was almost entertaining. Terribly true. _Wouldn't it be romantic if we’d kill him together, Lloyd-y boy?_

 

The man could only stare as anxiety burned through his greenish blue eyes. His skin had gotten paler as Phil declared himself out of the situation, saying he was probably just getting in the way with his stubbornness to help out, which of course wasn't true. Without him, Lloyd would've given up already. _Oh, imagine my reaction if you'll_ _kill yourself. You know you want me to grab you by your fucking jaw and kiss you until you beg for air, you needy little piece of shit!_ The voice in his head wasn't helping as he couldn't do anything but to feel tears burning down his throat, struggling to keep still as he kept his lips sealed from trembling and letting out any pathetic noises he kept for himself before nodding his head

 

. “I… I care t-too much about you too, Phil.” Lloyd stuttered before he got up before smiling a sad smile over his best friend, daring to grin. “Thanks for the food. Thank you for keeping me grounded. I'll...go now. Have fun tonight, and call me if you need a ride home.” he told him and moved in for a quick hug, stuffing all of his emotions inside him as he wrapped his strong arms around the smaller man's form, feeling his heartbeat and the way his chest rose and fell with every breath that he took before letting go, not giving him a chance to hug back since he _knew_ that if he was going to spend another second around him, he’d kiss him. _Again._ And what good would it bring? Just more pain as it'll drive them further from one another. And that was unacceptable.

 

Quickly making his way out of the diner and into his parked car, he let out a choked sob after starting it and dumping his phone over the seat next to himself. He bit his lip as he drove all the way to the station he worked at, eventually breaking down in his car at the few minutes of silence he had calculated carefully. His screams and desperate cries wasn't heard as all he could think about of how he wanted Phil wrapping his arms around him and never letting go, but deep down he knew he’d be the worst boyfriend. _If I deserve better, and we're the same, doesn't it mean we deserve each other? You little bitch. Needy for love, huh? Maybe you should come to me and I'll love you all night long. I won't remember it anyways!_

 

“GO AWAY!” Lloyd finally broke, grabbing over his short blond hair before letting out an animalistic groan, breathing heavily before he opened his eyes and looked around himself, out of the window in worry he might have been heard. _But you are the one who's been begging me to stay! Such a hypocritical bullshit to say to your psyche, Lloyd. Anyways… Think about it. Drunk me loving you. Stuffing you ‘till no end...I think that we should both agree that my first time  with you isn't going to be when drunk, otherwise I'll shoot my damn gun up your virgin asshole._

 

Hours passed and Lloyd normally drove people around town, his eye twitching every few seconds at the realization that Phil was hard when he hugged him.

 

Phil watched the anxiety in Lloyd’s eyes, almost ashamed even opened his big fat stubborn mouth. It was all true though. He’s scared to death for Lloyd everytime the guy had an emotional break, lack of sleep, or even drank way too much. The junkie remembered the days so vividly; they were in the car as Quincy drove too fast into the night with an extremely petrified prisoner in the backseat. It was such a hilarious image so to say even though the cops were on their tail at the time; but that memory really scared him; Lloyd is more impossible to handle with too many drinks of whiskey. _You’d watch over me 24/7 huh, you creep? Spoiling me with all the food, a nice massage to ease the tension out of me...hot makeouts for sure too!_

 

Lloyd’s voice whistled into his ear while forced the smaller blonde to scratch at his ears anxiously before he drew his attention back to his best friend who stood from their table, giving his thanks. Phil managed a small smile back, his heart pinched at the idea that Lloyd cares for him just as much which the smaller man didn’t feel worthy of such kindness., “hey...no problem. What are friends for, am I right?” He stood up himself, realizing in no second how hard he still felt in his tight jeans; but before he could sit back down Quincy kept talking, the junkie nodded eagerly with his lips curled inwards, placing the cash on the table with extra for tip, “heh, you take care too. Tonight’s gonna be wiiild~” He sing songed. _You’re not gonna find some nice hunk of a man to fuck around with tonight are ya? Not after I offered you my luscious lips?_

 

The small blond bit his lower lip with internal rage, urging the voice inside his mind to shut the hell up, “Pfft, of course. Wouldn’t want your best friend running around naked like a maniac.” Phil laughed lightly at the image which immediately faded away as Lloyd held him in those strong arms. _Ooooh, I can see the freckles again!_ The smaller man growled under his breath before wrapping his slender arms around the other’s back, sneakily sniffing at his shoulder. The men hadn’t shower in a while again, but the junkie let it slide this time. _Please. Please kiss me again. Over and over and over again_. But Phil knew all too well that it was never going to happen; it was probably just some fluke, an impulse out of no reason. It sure as hell didn’t feel like it though. It felt like the whole world disappeared around them except the two floating in ecstasy sharing a connection oh so rare from all the crap they’ve dealt in their lives.

 

Phil craved for more deeply, but instead he swallowed his thoughts the best he could. _You know you really need to do something about that rock hard erection of yours._ Quincy’s voice snickered teasingly whilst the small junkie’s eyes widened in shock of realization, his best friend pulled away from the hug, forcing another grin as they waved at each other goodbye before Lloyd made his way to the door. The smaller man eyed his departure before cursing under his breath on his way to the bathroom stall, locking the door as he unzipped his pants. Jacobs slumped onto the toilet seat as he stroked his shaft from tip to base as quick as possible while his eyes clenched tightly with quiet gasps escaping his lips.

 

_Tch tch, what a naughty princess, couldn’t take it any longer. I bet you would love it if I caught you in here and swallow your dick down. Then maybe fuck your ass senseless while I silence you with kisses. Would you love that, darling? Hmhm, I bet neck kisses make you weak too--_ “shut up shut up shut up shut up..” He hissed the voice away, practically could feel Lloyd’s lips around his thickness with those lust-filled eyes staring at him. The thoughts played in his mind like an addiction until he finally reached his climax, biting his lower lip to suppress any whine as he coated the floor and and his hand in semen.

 

He took a few moments to take a breather, a smile curled slowly as he imagined Lloyd’s gorgeous ocean blues staring down at him with that smirk, his face inching closer as they breathed against each other’s lips. The taller man would card his strong fingers through the small criminal’s golden strands as they kissed deep and passionately. Phil softly chuckled, his eyes fluttered open only to come back to a reminder that he just finished jerking himself up in the diner bathroom. He felt tears stinging his eyes at the pain in his heart, wiping them immediately with a pathetic sigh, “what am I doing?..”

 

He quickly fastened his pants back on, wiping the cum off his thin fingers nervously with some tissue. He stared at the mess on the floor with a mischievous smirk, “nah~” The junkie left the washroom casually before he left the diner in a hurry. The sky slowly slowly forming into a shade of late afternoon, orange and red blended into the blue while Phil walked hastily for his favorite gay bar with a cigarette between his lips. The small blonde inhaled deeply before blowing the smoke into the breeze. His eyes perked up to the sound of familiar rave music, a few mutuals recognized his face with genuine welcomes and laughter. He gave them a fist bumps and high fives with a playful smirk before entering into his little paradise; well, actually his escape from recent thoughts of his best friend.

 

The music pumped his ears, men dancing to the beat; some mellow, others extremely erotic which caught Phil’s greyish blues with a tint of hunger. _Wow, I bet they’re not as hot as me though!_ He flinched at Quincy’s voice with a grunt, “Please man, this is the one moment of peace I need.” Eyyy, I’m just saying the truth here. _Oh god, I could be shirtless just for you and get busy on that pole over there!_ The junkie glanced over to a stripper grinding himself along a pole that caused him to choke on some of the smoke on his cigarette. He immediately took the bud off, coughing and fisting at his chest before clearing his throat. The criminal growled in annoyance before walking over to the bar, dropping down into a seat with an elbow resting upon the counter, “Whiskey please. Whole bottle.” The bartender nodded at him before getting the drink ready.

 

Jacobs observed the people beside him; majority were really cute, tight asses even. But Lloyd always managed to haunt his desires, burying his face in his slender hand with a quiet whine. Knowing his best friend will draw all his sadistic attention to that stupid waitress. The sick chill of jealousy jolted his insides, gritting his teeth in frustration. If there was only something he could do to get his best friend’s attention; His ears urged him back to reality, looking up to see a gay couple; the taller man hurried himself to the bathroom while his boyfriend awaited his return. Phil stared at the handsome fellow with a smug grin on his features, his hand grasped to chug some of the whiskey, the smaller blond already feeling hazy while he approached to the other.

 

The next few hours went in a rush, and that was good. His blackouts vanished, at least for the moment as he stopped his car in a dirty road by the woods and slammed the door shut. A psychotic smile stretched across his gleeful face as he let out a sigh when opening the trunk of his car and feeling a twitch in his pants to the sight of the cute waitress from earlier tied and gangged, her eyes blindfolded so she won't be able to recognize him if he felt like letting her live afterwards. If a new woman disappeared from the area he mostly picked his prey from after almost a year of silence where he had to drive to other cities nearby - corrupting buildings and taking someone prisoner just for kicks with Phil, it laid off some of his anxious feeling of getting caught somehow if he would've taken another woman in a short period of time, so he preferred travelling from place to place, sometimes by himself but it wasn't common since the  shorter man's company was very enjoyable and exciting. He always enjoyed keeping Phil close. Never too far to reach.

 

**Rape scene starts;**

 

He laid the woman over her stomach in the dirt, she struggled but he was far too used to it to actually care. He kept thinking about Phil and was happened earlier, remembering his mental breakdown made him grit his teeth in stress before he took out a pair of earbuds from his pocket and put them in her ears, then connected them to an MP3 player he had just for these kind of… stressful events, for his victims. Being a big talker, especially intimately, Lloyd prefered keeping it safe and making sure the person wouldn't recognize him. That way, with the ironically relaxing moment they listened to as he he violated them, it was mostly a win win situation! For Lloyd, of course. They wouldn't be able to hear the sounds around him and recognize him or his voice, since most of his victims were people he interacted with briefly before the kidnapping, and he was able to talk all they wanted, since they were all alone.

 

It didn't matter if he kept them alive or not; his paranoia wouldn't let him enjoy the satisfaction of keeping one of his victims alive after showing his identity to them, _or_ even if their fate was to die right afterwards. He was too scared to let them see him, _remember_ his face. His step mother used to say that everyone he’d harm in his life would rise from the dead to haunt him 100 times worse, then drag him to hell, but she was a drunk bitch most of the day, and yet as an a 11 years old it stuck in his brain and wouldn't go away, so this way his way to guarantee his victims wouldn't come after him since they didn't know _who_ was doing this to them.

 

And the girl wasn't that easy to kidnap, that's for sure. His stomach still hurt from the way she kicked him when her eyes were sprayed by pepper spray. It was for self defence and that was one of the main reasons he took pleasure from using it on his victims, but apparently it took a few extra seconds until it began to burn in her closed shut eyes. She may have seen him for only half a second though, so that was good. Still, he should have been more careful with the way he chose his victims. He usually was, but she was only used as a distraction, really, now that he thought about it, it wasn't her physical appearance that grasped his attention, but the way she’d make such a wonderful distraction from today's events.

 

Tearing up at her shirt and hearing a muddled cry out of her as he continued to struggle in pain only made him more excited at this. His erection pained him through the long ride from the city to the woods, and looking up at the sky up in himself, it was nice to know that he had at least two more hours of sunlight before darkness would fall, and he'll be uncomfortable around it. Lloyd rubbed up and down her spine before messing with her bra, noticing his fingers began shivering before he was managed to loosen it and put it away in a black garbage bag he had near by. She again tried to move, this time a bit harder as he screamed helplessly against the gag, choking from her own saliva as Lloyd slipped his hand down her pants and into her the front of her panties, grabbing the tight muscle before feeling her stilling herself in complete fear. He rubbed his slender fingers there at the short hair, chuckling as he smirked and talked to himself. “You're lucky I don't feel like destroying your pussy.”

 

_Of course not! What about my virgin ass? Do you feel like destroying me, before somebody else will have the chance to? I'm not the strongest person, Y'know...and if someone were to attack m--_ “SHUT UP!” Lloyd screamed out and began tearing the girl's grey skirt, seeing red as he tugged down her panties and slapped her across both asscheeks harshly as he escaped Phil's nagging voice in his head. _Gonna fuck her from behind, Lloyd-y boy? And here I thought you were quite the pussy destroyer! I guess things change. If you wanted a good piece of ass you could have--_ “You think this is about sex!?” he shouted as tugged his jeans and underwear down at once, grabbing a condom from his pocket before tearing it open with his deep impatiently before he rolled it over his shaft and spit on it, rubbing the saliva over the rubber so he wouldn't have much trouble getting inside her.

 

He held over his exposed hips before stretching her asscheeks wide open, listening to his strong heartbeat before he pushed into her with a groan, half way in before he pulled almost all the way out of the tight muscle just to push right back in a moment later. Breathing heavily as he thrusted into her again and again. closing his eyes, the blond grinned as pleasure filled him and he grabbed a handful of the waitress long hair, pushing her down into the mud as he laughed to the sight of her trying to move away like a damn worm. _He wears his heart safety pinned to his back pack, his backpack is all that he knows. Shut down by strangers whose glances can cripple the heart and devour the soul…_ he heard the song rolling in the back of his head as he let out a moan to the feeling of the warm walls around him, biting his lip as he cried in pleasure, drooling and choking out a whine as he could feel the heat taking over him.

 

_So it's not about sex? Oh, I know! It's a distraction. You just don't want to kiss me, but you ARE aware that right now I might be making out with another dude, right? He's probably sucking my tongue. Something a pussy like you was too scared to do!_ Clenching his jaw as he heard Phil loud and clear in his head, he moved his hips faster, fucking the woman in a murderous pace as the smell of blood filled his nose, trying to enjoy himself inside her before his phone rang. Turning his head towards his car, the tall blond ignored it and bit his lip as he could feel his stomach turning and realized he nearly reached his climax, blushing deeply as he pouted and shook his head. _Awwwww! Lloyd-y boy can't hold it in, huh? Don't worry. I won't mind being filled by you after...about four minutes of rough sex! You know I can take it_. Shaking his head violently, he cried and growled at the voice of his best friend.

 

“You're not going to have it! Go away! Leave me alone alread--”, again, the sound of his ringing phone pulled him out of the little bubble he was in, making him growl in annoyance before his blood pumped through his veins and he pulled out of the woman's bleeding hole, sighing as he threw the condom into the trash bag, now that his cock softened there was no use going back in again. He tugged up his underwear before pulling up his jeans and closing them, stretching briefly before he gained back his breath and unlocked his cab, sliding inside to grab his phone before getting out to watch over the girl and look around him before he answered the call, annoyed.

 

**Rape scene ends.**

 

_The only person that knew what he was doing what obviously Phil, it made sense if was him that called earlier as well._ “I was busy,” he sighed to the sound of loud music. “What is it, you need a ride?” Lloyd worried when all heard from the other line were voices of people that sounded familiar, a few pals of Phil from the gay club the two of them went to every once in awhile. “Phil? Phil! Carp-- listen, I'm on my way! Don't you fucking touch him!” he screamed as he listened to Phil's pained cry, his heart swelled through his chest and he hurried to grab his pocket knife from the back pocket of his jeans, anger consuming him as he breathed violently and his eyes filled with madness before he one else by the girl and grabbed her by the hair, stretching her head back and quickly slicing her through. Not even watching her die and quickly placing her inside the garbage bag along with the used condom and before he carried her covered body with a groan, walking quickly towards the the grave he prepared and buried her quickly, using a shovel he brought with him before he ran back to his car and simply threw it in the trunk, driving back to the main road and into the city in a rush as the call ended. “Shit!” He had to get there. _And fast._

 

“Oh, hey Phil! You look like shit as always honey.” Michael responded with a laugh and a playful grin; the two weren’t really that close but one thing the junkie knew for sure he was a fine lad since they met at the bar along with Lloyd. The small blond hobbled a little closer to the brunette with a crooked grin whilst he attempted to support himself onto the counter with the whiskey in hand, “pointing out the obvious, but okaaayyy, babe. I just thought it'd be nice to hang with you and your boy Harry while my ditching best friend is not h-heeere!” Jacobs hiccup Ed before taking another chug of his whiskey while Michael looked at him with concern.

 

“Aw, how bad is it this time?” he asked curiously.

 

“Oh... Oh, Oh well.. He might or might not have kissed a while b-back!” The slender criminal cackled hysterically through the loud rave music.

 

“What--...are you _serious_?!?” the taller man’s jaw dropped in shock.

 

“I know!! Then he suddenly just up and leaves to see.. I don't knoooww some chick? Right when I offered him to come here tonight! Ugh.. Can you believe men sometimes? Fucking shitheads.” He scowled before consuming another chug of his whiskey which was nearly empty. _Oh wow, you really are this mad aren't you? Poor little princess can't get what he wants_ . Lloyd snickered in his brain, forcing Phil’s eye to twitch out of frustration, sweeping off beads of sweat off his forehead whilst Michael placed a hand over his back to rub in comfort, “ugh, give me a fucking break!” the smaller man yelled while the music kept pumping in his eardrums with his pal feeling terrified and confused. _Aw c’mon, I know how much you crave for my lips. My muscular bod. My touch. And mmmm..perhaps my fat cock too?_ Phil whined under his breath as his mind and vision began to grow more hazy, feeling himself tumbling over but Michael held him up just in time.

 

“H-Hey! Are you alright? Phil, you're talking to yourself.” but the brunette’s words were nothing but static noise, the junkie could only hear his own heart pounding, his brain jolting as his best friend continued to penetrate with thoughts. _Oh you are so thinking about it all aren't you?! You'd love it if I catch you kissing another man, then I'd take you home to spank that luscious ass until it's a bright shade of red, reminding who you truly belong to. You can tell me to shut up all you want, but I'll always be here. Cause in your heart, you want more than ‘just friends’.. Even before I kissed you_. The blonde's eyes clenched at the punch of reminder in his heart, recalling the spark in the beginning of their friendship.

 

The night Phil introduced this very same bar to Lloyd; they drank, danced uncontrollably with hysterical fits of laughter. The way the taller man held him close, the way their heartbeats pounded in unison brought an electrifying jolt into the criminal’s dirtied soul. Something about that night, how their friendship kept blossoming each day, and even including the most recent events always caused these warm chills. The need of Lloyd's protection and love. And that petrified Phil all too much. It was the last thing he ever wanted to feel for everyone ever since his childhood scarred him. He buried that fond memory into the pit of denial but thanks to Lloyd's voice, it was now resurfaced and probably will never fade away this time- “PHIL!”

 

He was brought back down to earth, flinched at as the rave music dove back into his ears along with Michael's worried tone who shook at the smaller blonde’s shoulders. Phil’s eyes blinked a few before he got his vision back, finishing up his drink before he slammed it onto the counter with breaking the glass luckily, “Are you okay? You scared the crap out of me.” Michael admitted whilst the other's cheek flushed in utter embarrassment, hiccuped several times before he forced a huge smile.

 

“Oh, never been better let me tell ya!! I just..god, I forgot how cute you  aarrre, Mikey.” Jacobs giggled uncontrollably as his hands flew to the taller brunette’s waist, slender fingers squeezes at the ass which caught his pal off guard, “Since I won't be getting much tongue from my best friend ever again, I should move on quickly! Starting with your lips.. “ he implied with a smirk, a soft faint growl escaped his lips.

 

“Whoa whoa hey darling! You're clearly mad about what happened, maybe if you two just talked- mhh!!!” Michael was cut off by the harsh clash of Phil's lips who let his tongue linger inside. The taller man whined in protest before shoving him off, but a new problem rose to the dance floor as Harry came back with his eyebrows furrowed in absolute rage at the sudden kiss. The muscled man marched towards the scrawny junkie before a punch struck right at Phil's cheek who howled in pain, then fell to the floor with a thud. Nearby men and drags were horrified of the scene, some attempted to pull Harry back which failed miserably, “NO ONE HARASSES MY BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

 

“H-honey he didn't mean to, Phil's really drunk. Stop!!” Michael explained but it was useless the moment Harry kept kicking the small blonde severely at the stomach, with several more punches to the face. Phil cried in pain, coughing off blood, a mixture of choked sobs and breathless laughter spilled from his bleeding lips, “w-what’s wrong Harry? Afraid that I'm a better kisser than you?!? ASSHAT!” the insult forced a growl out of Harry before kicking the other at the shin who wailed in pain, tears stinging his eyes while he breathed heavily with a shaky silent cackle. His vision was blurred once again but he could hear security trying to hold the muscular man back along with Michael scolding at him.

 

The junkie took his opportunity to shakily reach for his phone in his back pocket, his thumb jabbed at Lloyd's phone number on speed dial. He impatiently waited for an answer, “Come on pick up you asshole!” He forced his quivering legs to stand up slowly, supporting his weight onto a one of the chairs, panting heavily as his vision attempted to fixate but all he could see was colors and the sound of arguments. Phil cracked a laugh, phone pressed against his ear as he continued to wait whilst he flipped his middle finger in mid air with a slightly psychotic grin, “Wow I thought you were going to do much worse, but HAH! YOU PUNCH LIKE A PUSSY!” everything went completely black as fists went flying into his cheeks, torso and stomach with a few more kicks to his legs.

 

He collapsed onto the floor again in excruciating pain, his phone still gripped tightly his hand but loosened as the kicks and punches only grew harsher with a few horrified screams in the background. The sound of Lloyd's voice through the phone was faint, Phil failed to focus or get back up whilst tears trickled down his bruised cheeks along with helpless whimpering, “fuck! Egh!... L… Lloyd.. I.. Need.. I need you.. P-please… ngh!” _Oh, you do? what a shocker_. Quincy whispered in his head. The voice pained the smaller blonde more than the physical injury, hoping his best friend would rescue his sorry ass. At the same time, maybe the taller blonde has grown tired of it. And that scared Phil more than anything.

 

All Lloyd could think about as he drove quickly back into the city from the woods was Phil and the sounds of his painful screams. How was was alone around all these people, And drunk. He probably didn't have his pocket knife on him either, or maybe he didn't want to get into serious trouble in his favorite club out of all places, which was far more reasonable. His drunken state probably didn't give him a lot of options to defend himself. _Come on, Lloyd! I need you! I need you! I need you! Are you going to let me di--, “NO!”_ the blond yelled in fury right away as he got back into the city from the woods and turned his cab around with a quick, dangerous turn, but he didn't care at the moment about something as minor as that.

 

He let out a strained breath as his vision turned red and the voice of his best friend in his head rang loud and clear through his ears, killing him from inside with even more worry that clenched at his guts. _You're not gonna get there in time...and all because your fat cock ached for a hole you could shove it into. But let's be honest, you want me. You always did. That little distraction held you back, are you happy now? Huh? Maybe you should make it up to me and be my little bitch from now on?_

 

He growled and shook his head as sweat coated the palms of his hands and he swallowed thickly, anxiety and self hatred eating up his insides and leaving fire pumping through his veins. He sobbed in fear and bit his trembling lip as He choked out helplessly when he thought of finding Phil laying in a pool of his own blood, his pale skin now covered in bruises and bleeding wounds, while he was too busy fucking a nobody.

 

_Fuck!_ He thought before parking his car and shutting the door as he hurried inside and pushed forward through the crowd of people, his eyes shining dangerously to the sight of a man he believed was called Harry hitting the junkie seconds before he turned him around and met with his surprised gaze, throwing him over to roll into the dance floor, hearing him moan in pain but nothing else. _I don't have time to beat him up._ He thought bitterly a second before his deadly gaze turned to Michael, who was Phil's pal.

 

His angry glare and tearful eyes meant nothing to Lloyd as he kneeled beside Phil and picked him up very slowly, sliding his phone into his pocket. “I got you,” he breathed into his ear. “I got you. You're okay. You're safe. You're with _me,”_ the blonde purred into the beaten man's ear with kindness before he went through the back door of the club, escaping all the noise and the people as he held Phil close to his chest, tightly in his arms.

 

“I don't care what happened,” he breathed heavily and ignored the dark street as a shiver want down his spine as soon as the wind tickled at his back and made him hiss as he sniffed and walked faster, not bothering to go back for his car. _My prince charming,_ he heard Jacobs’ voice in his head and looked down at his injured friend with pain in his eyes. “I couldn't get here in time,” he sobbed. “I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Phil...hang in there,” the driver cried out and bit his lip. _I love you, Lloyd,_ he heard Phil's voice again, this time the emotion behind the words he knew were true was a too overwhelming to the point he choked helplessly against his need to scream those three words loud and clear for his junkie to hear, but it wasn't the time. Or the place.  And he was definitely not the right person.

 

Quickly making his way towards Phil's apartment, keeping the door open behind himself as the light from the tall lamps outside brought comfort to his trembling knees as the darkness around him took his breath away. _Scared from the night, aren't you, Lloyd-y boy? How about asking me to hold you through your fears? Mmmh? I'd do anything for you. Make it double when I'm drunk._ He heard his be best friend's voice mocking him once more as he held down a choke when walking inside and switching the lights in the living room and the small kitchen, feeling at ease and returning to lock the door behind himself before hurrying into the bathroom and sitting Phil in the bathtub, biting his lip as he slowly took off his bloody tank top, revealing his injured stomach as blood ran down from his nose and ached Lloyd's heart.

 

He clenched his jaw before a few tears made their way down his cheeks and moved closer to tug down the man's pants, holding back a gasp at the blue and purple marks he had from the result of being kicked over and over. _I'll kill him!_ He fisted his arms at the thought of that damn Harry guy, his mind filling with thoughts of torture and worse before he was brought back to reality by a small cough that made it out of Phil's aching lungs. “Shhh, shhhh. Let me help,” Lloyd rushed to go through the drawers for a few dry cloths and bandages he found, _he really did clean up here,_ he thought quickly as pictures of how the man's apartment _used_ to look like before the change.

 

Cleaning off the blood from Phil's face and chest was easy, though the real problem was to keep his body heat steady. Lloyd groaned in slight frustration to the fact that he was nearly useless at the situation, despite his efforts to help his friend, his hands wouldn't stop shaking as he wrapped his injured legs with the bandages he found and managed to stop the nosebleeding with small pieces of tissues he teared. Letting out a relieved sigh as he finished up and moved closer to lift the man, he left the bathroom and switched off the lights there, but keeping the door open since he was going to clean the mess he made.   

 

Entering the bedroom, the taller blonde's cheeks heated up to the fact he was carrying his almost fully naked friend, days after he kissed him, and now… well… he had to admit to himself that this did not look well at all, but it was in order to close his open wounds and clean them up! It wasn't like he could just lay him down over his bed as the bloody mess that he was awhile back! _That's right, Lloyd. You had to strip me down. It was for my own sake! How novel of you!_

 

“Shut up,” the driver hissed low from his throat at the voice of his friend in his head as he laid the smaller man down against the soft sheets and pillows, smiling a small smile to the sight of him now deeply asleep as he watched closely at how his chest rose and fell steadily before he moved around the room to go through his closet, using the flashlight in his phone rather than switching on the light and risking waking him up in the middle of the night.

 

There wasn't much to pick from, of course, Phil had a very specific taste in clothing which was alright. Lloyd liked the way he dressed so casually. The deep colors he chose made his beautiful eyes stand out. Shaking his head at the thought, he swallowed and picked a simple white t shirt and a long pair of jogging blue pants. After dressing him up, he watched the way Phil let out a soft whine before he quickly went back to his deep sleep, looking peaceful once more as he was covered by the thin blanket near by. It seemed to heat him up good enough, for which the driver was thankful for.

 

Leaving Phil to sleep, Lloyd then quickly switched on the lights in the bathroom as he moved in to wash the bloody tank top in his own hands and clean the blood from the empty bath tub, sighing as he put back everything in the drawer after washing the cloths and hanging the tank top to dry. He sighed again as he wiped sweat off his brow when leaving the room and closing the door behind himself, holding his phone in his right hand as his left one trembled when making his way into the lighted living room, and yet all he could see was the dark of the room he was kept in long ago, and how cold it was there.

 

A shiver went down his spine as he struggled to breath and lost his balance when passing by the couch, letting out a strained breath when he held onto the furniture with his fingertips and pulled himself up harshly, glaring a faraway spot in the room before his bottom lip trembled and Lloyd closed his eyes shut and shook his head over and over. “Let me out,” he begged quietly. “Let me out, don't keep me here!” he covered his mouth with his hands and fell to his knees, breathing heavily into his hands when a sob escaped his throat. _Hey, hey, get up. Deep breaths now, Lloyd._ This time Phil's voice in his head was full of confusion and fear, though he was talking to his psyche, the real junkie wasn't aware to his past, so of course his voice sounded so surprised and unsure, although it was all in his head.

 

_How nice,_ he thought to himself bitterly when tears fell down his cheeks and he switched off the lights, surrounded in complete darkness before he fell over the couch and buried his head in one of the small pillows there, reaching for the remote blindly and switching the TV on, hurrying to mute it completely as he stared at the screen and took comfort in the light it provided him. Unlike in his own apartment, he had a small night lamp over his nightstand near his bed which he kept on all night long, every night. It helped him sleep and calmed his nerves from being surrounded by darkness, though in the back of his head he could still hear his own hands banging on the walls around him helplessly, begging to be let out.

 

_Chuckling to himself as his eyes closed down, Lloyd  could feel Phil's thin arms wrapped around his shivering body, but it was nothing but fiction._

 

Every pain jolting in Phil’s nerves caused his vision drift apart completely, his eyes stung from the never ending tears that soaked his bruised cheeks. Everything felt numb. Just like his heart always has been to any form of pain. Feeling nothing; It was the only thing that made him felt at peace with everything Phil has done, all the chaos, all the cruelty he brought upon the world, the pool of blood on his hands. His soul was consumed in the red of people’s horrified screams, spilled guts and broken bones, with blackness blending into his sadistic thoughts and memories that cackled hysterically once in awhile. Jacobs wanted to feel nothing for as long as he could; but at the same time, he feared losing himself. Being too far gone that he might lose Lloyd forever. He wanted to escape, escape into his best friend’s arms and stay in that comfort for all eternity.

 

Reality attempted to wake him up from his daze as a familiar voice made his heart skipped a beat. His eyelids hurt too much to open. Harry's and Michael’s voices sounded distorted, it was paused the moment the other voice caught his attention. _It's me, Princess. I'm here. You look like crap, let's take you home_. No. No Phil couldn't believe even if he wanted to, he forced his eyes to open halfway, vision adjusting in the process but the small blonde could only see those lips quivering with concern, the words spilling out were not exactly clear as day. But he knew that voice and those strong arms wrapped around him anywhere despite his clouded brain. He was too exhausted from the pain to respond properly, but whispered shakily,

 

“L… Lloyd...what took you s-.... So long?” the next Jacobs felt was being lifted off from the cold hard floor, the rave music as faded into the sounds of cars driving through the road, and the breeze dancing through the night, making the small blonde quiver.

 

His eyes failed to open, but his hearing was fixating gradually, the protective and concerned tone in Lloyd’s voice brought a warm chill to Phil’s spine. _See? I told you I’d save your ass. You really think I’d get tired of you one day? You know how much I love you_. He whined quietly at the thought, the sincere voice in his head made his heart ache. “I don’t...d-deserve...this….” The small junkie mumbled under his breath as his subconscious thoughts were taking over thanks to his obsessive drinking, hot tears stung his eyes as he shifted himself closer into Quincy’s protective hold, feeling his heart pounding unnaturally through his chest. He knew he got his best friend so worried and that was all on Jacobs. A walking disaster waiting to drag everyone down with him, he didn’t give a care for it until he met Lloyd. The small criminal begged for his attention, and security every once in awhile, it couldn’t be helped really; and Phil hated himself having to ask the taller man favors over and over no matter the annoyance.

 

If they were in a relationship, oh oh, it would only worsen, the junkie knew that for sure even though the thought paralyzed him. Oh the hell he would bring Lloyd through.He sobbed quietly at the jabbing thoughts that caused his brain to ache in pain, not realizing they were at the apartment already. All he could hear was Lloyd’s uneasy breathing and the closed door. Phil flinched at the sudden cold surface against his skin, which felt to be a bathtub but his mind was still too fuzzy to tell, not to mention the ongoing pain in his eyes. He coughed with a frustrated grunt, and a light chuckle that spilled out of his lips, hearing the comfort of his best friend’s voice once again, “Heh..heh...I really- nh!...fucked up t-tonight didn’t I? You..r-really didn’t..have to do this- ahhh f-fuck..!..I’m sorry...I-I’m sorry...gh!” His lungs caused him to wheeze uncomfortably as tears trickled down at the unstoppable jolts of aching around his vulnerable body. He shivered at the cold, his cheeks reddened as he felt naked with his clothes removed. _God, You really need to stop drinking to avoid such bruises. I’d massage the pain away for you, maybe even leave a few kisses. Would you love that my princess?_

 

“..St….Stop….” He mumbled under his breath once again, feeling Quincy’s broad, gentle fingers erasing some of the blood and stopped some of the bleeding which caused the smaller blonde to sigh in content, a smile twitched ever so slightly, wishing the moment could last forever. He felt the cold surface of the bathtub leave him as his strong arms wrapped around him once again; his heart steadied at a low calming rate, especially when he was brought to what felt was a warm mattress and a pillow against the back of his head. Phil hummed at the soft cushion, and the fabric that caressed through his body, feeling warmer in his new change of clothing.

 

_God you look so cute sleeping peacefully. I could hold you in my arms forever_. The smaller blonde whined softly at the thought before the blanket covered him, causing him to calm down once again with a soft sigh, and smiled lightly as he curled into a little ball, sinking further into slumber. His mind projected a dream; he was snagged against Lloyd's embrace, bodies naked with their legs tangled under the sheets. His best friend would tease him with kisses while Phil laughed at the playful affection.

 

_God, you're so beautiful. I love you, Princess_.

“I...love you too...“ he mumbled sleepily in response to Lloyd's golden words.

 

The small criminal giggled as his dream kept dancing in his mind like a beautiful escape from harsh reality. At least a man can dream, right? Hours into the night had passed, he tossed and turned on the bed, with soft whimpers, beads of sweat falling down to the sides of his face,

 

_“This is for forgetting to do your chores!”_

_“Mommy, p-please! I was tired- AHHHH!”_

_“You're lucky we don't put the collar on your dick!”_

_“NO PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP! TURN IT OFF! P-PLEEAASSEE!--”_

 

Jacobs let out a harsh gasp when he sat up from the bed with his eyes shot wide open, anxiety happily creeping through his veins as he scrambled for his neck. He let out a shaky sigh of light relief, closing his vision tightly along with a thick swallow before opening them up again. _It was just a nightmare. A traumatizing one_. He wiped the sweat off his face, not even realizing the aches of his drying bruises until the uncomfortable sensation kicked in, causing to stretch with a scowl. The smaller man looked down at the bandages and new clothing with a few blinks, a hand massaged at his head from the dazed feeling from the alcohol he had.

 

Everything was coming back to him in blurred memories. He was beaten up by Harry, yet again, the next thing he remembered was the sound of Lloyd's voice. How his best friend held his tiny injured body so protectively. The comforting words. His cheeks flushed, hugging himself with need to feel those arms around him again, realizing that Quincy had to change his clothes too which caused him to grow hot at the thought of being partially naked in the taller blonde's touch. _Eyup, that's right! C’mon you know I had to patch you up and your clothes probably got stained from blood. Plus, your skin is just so delish_.

 

Phil smacked his face at the thoughts before getting off slowly from the bed, and waddling out of the room despite his trembling legs. _He must've left right?_ The small junkie asked himself curiously. His question was answered as the living room lights were on, with the muted TV projecting the news and what not. But more importantly he saw his best friend slumped on the couch, twitching in his sleep with soft whimpers. Lloyd would sometimes stay over for Jacobs’ sake he knew that well, but it really surprised him after their discussion at their usual fast food chain.

 

But mostly he was concerned at the way Lloyd mumbled in his sleep, Phil's turned off the TV before his slender aching body limped over to the couch, propping himself onto the poor whimpering man who seemed to have quiet down shortly. It brought a genuine smile to the junkie’s face, relieved that his comfort had kept his best friend going all these years despite the criminal’s fucked up life, and intolerable temper. He buried his face Into Quincy’s broad chest, feeling the heart rate steadied into a beautiful calming music. It was definitely better compared to the last time the man was so worried for Phil now that he remembered. He let off a sigh before rest his hands onto his best friend’s shoulders massaging the tension away while he slept.

 

Their legs tangled comfortably like a perfect puzzle piece whilst Jacobs began slowly drifting into sweet deep slumber once again. And this time it felt different, and much more peaceful. All because his best friend in the whole universe was here, suddenly wrapping his arms the smaller one's back which made Phil sink further into comfort with a quiet giggle. _No matter what may happen in the morning, at least we could have something this pure while it lasts. I love you, Lloydy-boy_ , he thought proudly with no anxiety for once.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh gosh this chapter was so intense aaaah! and long, too! Not all will be as long, but not all will be short. We hope to keep it balanced so either myself or Hattey won't be drained from writing. More will reveal about the boys' past as the plot will carry on. There's a lot ahead for these two!
> 
> A big warm hug to my good friend Hattey for rocking in her amazing writing as our favourite junkie, Phil! <3  
> Our Tumblr accounts: http://m4dh4ttey.tumblr.com/ (Hattey)  
> https://will-grammer.tumblr.com/ (Me) 
> 
> Please take your time to kudos and comment your thoughts down below, it will be very much appriciated! 
> 
> As always, until next time.  
> -Alex.


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